Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
