I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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