oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Enjoy the penises
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
