don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
