just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
