It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
