Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
