for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
