I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
