if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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