haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You work out of a Hotel?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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