I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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