I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
