The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
