only you would photoshop your dick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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