you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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