so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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