I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My ass is underappreciated
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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