Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
