Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
