Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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