I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize