Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
