i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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