We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize