Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
