haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
