Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
