The maid of honor just puked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize