protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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