You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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