but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
