Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
