Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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