Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
