GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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