C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
