I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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