We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize