i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
