So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
