erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
