I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
