ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
