didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
