no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
