Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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