one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
