So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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