Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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