What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
