what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize