i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
