If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
