My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
