dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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