yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
